It’s only those who know me well that understand the craziness of growing up in my French and Italian Family. It’s loud, we eat constantly, we talk at the table for hours, and of course we drink wine. Growing up with a mother as a chef, I was somewhat spoiled with gourmet food and wine. I mean, who has Bouillabaisse (provencal seafood stew) for Christmas every year? Or, some of the best desserts including homemade cream puffs, chocolate biscotti, and caramel flan. It’s inevitable that those who meet my mother fall in love with her. She’s a short and charming French woman who’s a hell of a cook, tells dirty jokes, and knows her stuff about wine. She has a palette that could rival any sommelier or chef and you don’t dare bet against her in a tasting test. I make trips down to Southern California to visit often and she stuffs my bag before I leave with magazine clippings and articles on food and wine. Unbeknownst to me on one occasion, she slipped a copy of her hand written 12 Wine Rules in a clear, plastic file folder. Now, let me first say that I had heard the 12 wine rules on many occasions, usually when we were at the dinner table with both family and friends finishing up a couple bottles of wine and everyone was feeling happy and full. My mom began to ask me to read them because she was too shy to read them herself in front of guests. When I spoke to her by phone she said it would be a good idea to post her 12 Wine Rules to my website and share it with all of you. I at first giggled, but then, I read it once over again and realized she had something here. Not only were they entertaining, but they were completely true and helpful rules. As they say, mother knows best. Thanks mom!
So without further ado, here are The 12 Wine Rules by Yolande Localio:
- Keep it in moderation, if you can!
- Swirl, but like a Pro.
- Sniff, but not like a dog.
- Sip, but don’t spit at your neighbors.
- Swallow, but don’t gargle.
- Let the wine breathe, but don’t forget to breathe too.
- Keep an eye on the color (not the wine, but your face).
- Always start with white or light then medium, full body comes last – interesting, only if you can keep track!
- Check for legs and body. If the wine is French, check for boobs too!
- Always hold the glass by the stem as your hand temperature may affect the overall taste. Getting hot?… It’s just the wine!
- When in doubt, go for Pinot Noir if you can tell or see the bottle label.
- Now, if you wish, start all over. You can start from 11 to 1.
A LA SANTE! SALUTE! SALUD! CHEERS!